Share on Google+

Sound Advice

I Just Married the Love of My Life, BUT....

I just married the love of my Life!  She has a child I am crazy for as well.  The ex-husband, who also still lives on the island, is awful! He's remarried as well, but still seems to have an emotional hold over my wife.  I know I’m probably being overly-sensitive, but sometimes I feel that he has it out for me. How do I handle this?

Best wishes on your marriage!  Grand lad, Yourself, for loving her child as well.

Now.  As they say, “…just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean that They aren’t out to get you.” You may be right about your Sweetie’s ex.

Clearly, her ex cannot “let go” without leaving claw marks.  Sometimes that is known as exhibiting “Dog in the Manger” syndrome.  The dog doesn’t feast on hay, but he doesn’t want any other creature to enjoy it, either.

Without observing this gentleman firsthand, I cannot make any judgment about his new marriage, nor how well that’s progressing.  If things are not well with his remarriage, perhaps he resents his ex-wife’s new-found happiness and would be happy to have his nuptial failure validated by her remarriage failing, too?

No matter.

You sound like an exceptionally kind, sensitive, and compassionate person.  Not surprisingly, you can readily understand why he is reluctant to let such a wonderful woman as your beloved move on with her life.  Extend your compassion to your sweet, new (step)child and realize that the effects of whatever is said or done by any of the principals in her life right now will never be forgotten.

Send only positive thoughts, words, and deeds into your immediate universe.  Eventually, only that which is positive will return to you and yours.



Do you have a question about island life, island etiquette?  Email Eenie at [email protected]


Rachel Dowling's picture


Rob Ranney's picture

awesome advice - i adhere to a similar philosophy myself ..

Fabulous advice Catherine! So glad you are back to writing! You are a wise and wonderful woman!