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Dumb Phones!

Marty's beef with not-so-smart phones

I’ve had it up to my haunches with “smart” phones. They should be called “dumb” phones. Okay… I’m normally more clever than that, but I’m just so irritated with the devices that it’s the best I can do at the moment.

Admittedly I’m a little bitter that my paws are too bulky to maneuver the key pad or even hold a smart phone. However, I don’t understand what could possibly be appearing on the screen that could have humans so enthralled. IT’S JUST A PHONE!

My fury all came to a head when I was taking a walk with my mom on a trail off of Old South Road. We parked the car and made our way into the trail. Then as we got further in my mom let me off leash. I sprinted ahead and then a few moments later ran back to make sure my mom was still behind me. I like checking to see what she is doing. If she stops to tie her shoe, I ask if she needs help. If she crouches down to pick some blackberries or blueberries, I sniff around the bushed to see what they smell like. But when I double back and catch her staring into her smart phone, I just roll my eyes and sprint ahead again.

On this particular walk, it seemed like every time I checked in with her, she was tapping away not and paying any attention to me. I got annoyed and ran further ahead than usual. I reached a fork in the trail with a sign pointed left for the “long loop” and right for the “short loop.” We hadn’t discussed how long our walk would be so I wasn’t sure which way I should go.

“Mom!” I barked.

No answer.


“Hold on, Marty. Let me finish this email.”


“One second, girl.”

Any other day I would have patiently sniffed around until my mom caught up with me, but I was so frustrated at this point, I decided to make an “executive” decision. I went left.

Both trails eventually lead back to the same place, so I figured even if she went right I’d meet her back at the car. That was until I reached another fork in the trail that I forgot about. There is usually a sign but it was busted and I couldn’t remember which way led back to the parking lot. I should have just turned back, but my ego got the better of me and I forged ahead taking the path to the left.

Long story short, I end up on Milestone Road where a passing driver stopped and hustled me into the back of his car before I could explain that I wasn’t lost (technically) and I ended up in a crate at the Nantucket Safe Harbor for Animals shelter next to a chipper and talkative yellow lab named Bocce.

When my mom finally showed up to get me, she was not impressed, to say the least. She thanked the volunteer at the shelter, leashed me up and walked me out to the car. It was a long terrifyingly silent ride home.

As soon as we walked in the door the shouting came pouring out. “What were you thinking?” “What have I told you about walking close to the street?” “Why didn’t you wait for me?”

When she ran out of questions, she just stopped, looked down at me and said, “Well?”

“You were on your stupid phone! If you weren’t so distracted, you would have heard me ask you which way to go. You would have seen me go the wrong way. You weren’t paying attention!”

It had been a long day and both of us were too tired to carry on arguing, so nothing else was said about it and we both went to bed.

My transgression cost me a week of “on leash” walking, but I have noticed my mom leaving her phone behind when we head out on our walks. So maybe may be the message wasn’t completely lost.

Dumb phones.