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Us vs. Facebook

Who Will "Win?"

Us vs. Facebook
(Can anyone "win?")
Submitted by Dorothy Stover on Sun, 06/03/2012 - 11:40

Nantucket is one of the most amazing towns I have ever had the pleasure to live in.  We have a beautiful community that is supportive of its residents, and has a closeness unlike any other community I have ever lived in.  We help our own, and we stand-by like protective parents when there is need.  There are times, though, when our island community is a little too small for comfort.  Bumping into your ex and their new love interest at The Seagrille.  Running into an ex-friend while you drop off your child at the New School.  Trying to figure out the best time to do your shopping for fear you may run into "Someone."  And, standing always at the ready, The Nantucket Rumor Mill, churning and burning, year-round.

Now, with Facebook in our lives, the Community is a public, global forum.  For years, I have watched, and heard about, the negativity on Facebook. Pettiness, name-calling, and childish behavior seems not to be exclusive to teenagers anymore.  A couple you know is getting a divorce. It's time to take a side and make it known on Facebook.  You and your S.O. (significant other) are breaking up.  Let everyone know how awful he/she is.  There is someone you find annoying.  Why not talk about him/her on Facebook?  After all, Facebook is like high school:  You are judged on how many friends you have, there are groups, cliques, and so much more that make Facebook feel like we’re back in our "...can’t find a date to my Prom..." awkward stage. 

In my humble opinion, keep the social media positive.  Don’t  talk about someone in a negative light in a public forum.  I don’t think it’s healthy. Holding on to a grudge, being mean to others, is just not good for your soul and your energy.  I believe those thoughts are to be kept in the privacy of your own heart.  (In fact, cast them away!)  Who knows what you may be thinking or feeling in the months ahead?  Maybe you’ll change your mind.  Maybe you’ll see the situation in a different light.  We don’t know what the future has in store for us!  If we’re positive today, hopefully, that’s what we’ll get back tomorrow.

What do you think?

Is Facebook the perfect place to voice who and what you despise at the moment?

Should you put your opinion on someone else’s wall in regard to their ex?

Is it your place, as a Facebook friend, to tell them you’re sorry for their break-up?

(Or, that you NEVER liked their ex to begin with?)

Is it healthy for you and for others to hear what’s wrong with your life?

Should we only post the positive?

Are there grey areas?

Is there a way for someone to cope with being the receiver of negative posts/energy?


I have some thoughts that may help someone who is feeling the Facebook sting.

"RISE above it, and put a smile on your face!"

In my opinion:  The tough times in our lives are the ‘best’ times of our lives.  We find out who really cares for us.  We find out more about who we really are as a living, breathing human person.  We also become even stronger than we once were.

So, if you are going through something difficult, remember:   In the end, you’re going to come out a better person surrounded by those who care about, and love, you.

IF you were a mean or a disruptive person in the past, that doesn’t mean you can’t change your ways.  Maybe THIS is YOUR time to improve your Karma. Be kind, get involved within your community, and stay away from the gossip.  My Mother always said, “Every Angel has a Past, and every Sinner has a Future.”

~Stay Well Nantucket~

And if you have any questions about island life, island etiquette, relationships, friendships...Really almost anything you would like answered, my Mother would be happy to help (Sometimes I'll chime in.) Please email Eenie (My Momma) at [email protected]





Thanks for the plug, Doro!

Grampie always said, "Not every thought needs to be expressed."

I don't think Facebook is the place to post anything negative about anyone local.

On the other hand, if we're discussing someone who is punching puppies, I think it's perfectly

alright to chime in with your disapproving comments.

(And, with Facebook, we can prolly 'round up a sizable posse hurry-up-pretty-quick!)

I think there are many different communities on Facebook, each with different ways of using it. I've never engaged in the "have as many friends as you wish" world or been friends with anyone who said negative things on their or others' walls. Mostly it's been short and funny posts, uplifting or informative links, or event information.

It's also been a great help when I needed it. A couple of years ago, I was flown off and in the ICU at MGH for four days. As soon as they let me use my cellphone, I posted "need cupcakes at Wee Whalers for Cass' bday on Friday." Within two minutes, four people volunteered.

Computers, the internet, facebook, are all just communication media. The people who are nasty will be nasty in any format offered. This one is just more immediate.

Sara Boyce's picture

Being positive is always the higher road - not just on FB, and not just with locals...  We all slip at times, but with social media, once it's 'out there', it's permanent. 

I recently saw the same type of comment posted by a real person going through a divorce.  This is a grown up, professional, who actually had to remind everyone in the couple's network to be cool and not comment on their divorce on FB. 

Funny how we (all of us at times) can forget how very public a forum it is....