When I'm 64
I had a friend who died a while back. He used to say he would never date a woman unless she could name all the Beatles in less than 30 seconds. What he looked for was a woman that was close to his age. I used to kid him and ask if it was the Fab Four, or did they have to include Stu Sutcliffe, the supposed fifth Beatle.
What I’m trying to arrive at is a problem for a man my age. I have found that many women over 50 years old aren’t that interested in finding a relationship. Many of them have been through bad marriages, or a divorce. Some are widows. Whatever the reason, there are bad feelings toward men when it comes to forming a romantic liaison later in life. They’d just as soon get involved in other interests, rather than begin with a man once more.
At this time in my life, I don’t want to go out with someone who’s much younger than I am. That sometimes seems to be the only course open. A while back, a date with a woman half my age went fine. I ended kissing her goodnight and never asked her out again. She was attractive and about as upbeat as anyone I’ve ever encountered. I couldn’t get past the many years that separated us.
It was all I could do to keep a conversation going, as there were at least three generations of music, politics and general knowledge she hadn’t experienced, but that I’d lived through and took for granted. That and I felt like a predator with a lady who was close to the same age as my daughter. This woman was no dewy eyed innocent. She was fairly worldly in some respects and childlike in others.
I remember going out to dinner with my daughter several years back. Perhaps it was my imagination, but I noticed a couple of people casting a jaundiced eye our way. My take on viewing this same type of situation is to wonder in my sarcastic way. Is that an older guy with a very young girlfriend, or was that his niece?
In my twenties, thirties and forties, a long term relationship was my desire, though a short term connection was never out of the question. Today, I know what I want, and it isn’t a fleeting romance. It isn’t that I’ve matured that much over a half centaury of being involved with women. My life is different and my wants tend less toward sex and more about companionship.
At my age, I’d like to be comfortable with a woman who has lived through many of the same things and is looking for what I am. I want to find someone to love and live with, who will be my (our) final relationship.
General Manifesto is a Nantucketer.