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Freaky Friday: I Think I Love Them More Than They Love Me

Freaky Friday: Every Friday a new post dealing with love, relationships, dating…and anything else the human soul may need answered.


Lying on the bed, my face toward the wall, trying to hide my tears. I knew that he knew I was crying when my voice trembled and cracked as I spoke, “I think I love you more than you love me.”  He was rubbing my back and let out a sigh, “Babe, don’t say that.”  We were breaking up and I used this reason as to why we were breaking up.  Instead of the truth; just because you love someone doesn’t mean you should be with them.  The ‘I think I love you more…’ phrase is thrown around haphazardly.  Love is love.  If someone loves you, they love you.  They may love you differently or maybe they don’t love you in the way that you would like to be loved.  Either way, love is love.  So when I said, “I think I love you more” not only was I not honoring his love for me, I wasn’t honoring the love I had for myself.  Simultaneously, this phrase implies “I’m not good enough, and the love you’re giving isn’t good enough.”  Amazing that such a simple phrase can hurt both parties.   

This phrase isn’t said on purpose to hurt the other person.  It’s usually said because the person saying it is looking for reassurance and validation for their love.   The romantic says that loving someone more means that you would give everything up for them…sacrifice for them…die for them…kill for them (or worse! Vote the same as them...November 4th...Hint Hint.)  The realist says that loving someone more means taking care of their basic needs, protecting them and doing the little things for them.  There’s no wrong way to love, but we have to begin with loving ourselves, and accepting ourselves, before we can honor someone else and the way they love us.   

The next time you think someone may love you more, or that you love them more, remember that love is love.  Now, this is a different case if someone ‘likes’ you more.  I like cats, but I love my cat Jack.  I like people, but I love my family and friends.  I like men, but I have only loved a few.  Love is constant…'like' sways to and fro, and may be fickle.  You can love someone, but not like them.  You can like someone and not love them.  Like vs. love is a post for another day.  Today let us focus on love, and how ‘love is love.’ We should stop saying “I think I love you more than you love me.”  


~Stay Well~