Freaky Friday - For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health but what do these vows actually mean?
Freaky Friday: Every Friday a new post dealing with love, relationships, dating...and anything else the human soul may need answered.
I know a lot of women who are looking to have a wedding. They don't know whom they are going marry, but they're hoping to land someone special and have their dream wedding stat. With this narrow focus one, will have their dream wedding soon followed by a nightmare divorce. A wedding is the gateway drug to a marriage, and a marriage is so much more than "a wedding."
The vows that we exchange, "For richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health," and others are promises we commit to. Many believe what these vows are saying is in good times and in bad. What's important to consider in advance is the perception of what "good" and "bad" are to you. You see, each of us needs to examine the scenarios of for richer, poorer, sickness and health because these can all be considered "bad" or "good".
For example, say you're dating a great guy. You both decide you're in love and you're to get married to each other...Mazel! Would you still want to be with this man if he were a billionaire? If you two shared a studio apartment with children? If he was super health conscious and his body was a temple? So sick he can't move and you're the one who has to wipe his butt? And the other way around...would you still want to be with him if you had all the money in the world? Or if you didn't have two dimes to rub together? If you became a cross fit-yogi who would only eat food blessed by the sun? Or if he's the one who will be taking care of you, holding your hair back while you throw up for the seventh time this morning? We have to think about these things when deciding on a partner. Not very sexy to think about, but in deciding on a life partner, it's essential.
Is this the person I want to be with in all of these scenarios? If yes, proceed! If your answer is no, ask yourself why. My suggestion would be to keep on moving if you don't see yourself in these situations. Because let me tell you, they each can be bad and they each can be good. This is real love. Life has ways of changing that test us, and tests our love and commitment. It's easy to love someone who is good looking, sweet, kind, generous, financially sound and a great kisser. It can be a challenge if that person gets into an accident and you need to spoon-feed them. It can be easy to love someone when you both have no money and no responsibilities. It becomes another story if you become financially rich and decides to trade in your relationship for something "new and shiny".
Certainly, these are some questions to ponder. I've seen relationships ripped apart because one spouse becomes a "health nut," or the other becomes gravely ill. I've seen relationships end when the husband/wife strikes gold, or loses it all.
So before your big day of "I dos," ask yourself if you really mean those vows. Ask as if it could happen tomorrow. Is this really the person you want to be with through all of this? I hope yes, but if not, there is someone out here worth waiting for. Go work on yourself, so that you too are worth the wait.
Peace, Love & Hugs!