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Freaky Friday - 4 Relationship Lessons I Learn From My Breakups.

Freaky Friday - Every Friday a new post about love, relationships, dating...and anything else the human soul may need answered. 

Four Lessons About Relationships I Learned From All My Breakups. 

If you read my LoveBlog this past week, "Why I've dated over 100 men" you may have realized I've been apart of a lot of breakups. Each breakup taught me something. Some of the lessons I had to learn over and over and over again before it stuck. Here are the four biggest lessons that I've taken away. I hope they help you have a happy and healthy relationship with someone special. (Hold onto this even if you're single.)

Lesson 1: Communication: Don’t wait until it’s too late to talk about what’s on your mind.  Be open to listening to what the other has to say.  Say all that you need to say.  Don’t hold back but still be conscience of your partner's feelings.  You may not get another chance or opportunity to express yourself.  Be respectful of what your partner has to say.  Honor their opinions and feedback.  Try not to become defensive, they are just trying to be honest.  Communication is really the key in a healthy and satisfying relationship.  

Lesson 2. Don’t marry someone based on a great sex life (there should be something there of course).  The two of you should be compatible but great sex does not necessarily equal a great relationship.  There should be some sort of attraction and compatibility.  A great sex life can be the glue to a relationship but you shouldn’t depend on that holding the two of you together. A married couple recently told me two things, first sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still good (there are exceptions of course). Also, when you're married sometimes you have bad sex, but that is a good thing; you get the physical connection and you hopefully get to laugh about it which can strengthen your bond.

Lesson 3. Everyone loves in their own way: Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want to be loved doesn’t mean they don’t love you just the same.  Everyone expresses love differently and there are many different ways to love someone as well as different types of love.  Don't take someone's love for granted.  If you feel you love them more than they love you, you are not honoring the way they love.  Just because it doesn't feel the same vigor or level, doesn't mean they don't love and care for you any less.  Don't base your love on checks and balances.  It may never feel  or be equal.  Going back to number 1, sometimes you have to ask, what do I do to make you feel loved? It can open up a conversation to improve upon how you both express and feel love for each other.

Lesson 4. Know Yourself and Never Settle: What do you want?  What do you not want?  What are your deal breakers?  What are your priorities in a relationship?  No one can be your everything and you can't be someone's everything.  What are you willing to give up for something that could be truly great?  Always ask yourself 'Are you settling'?  Settling is different than compromise. 

Peace, Love and Hugs,